Recently I was told by more than one person that I was headed for "Clinical Depression." This was not something I care to hear. I don't want to be one of those people who keeps asking the questions and never having the answers. I don't want to be one of those women who are accused of letting their emotions control them. I don't want to be one of those people that people look and and think, "She used to be so fun and happy. Whatever happened to her?"
That's why I made some changes - good for me, confusing for others. I rather like the "New me" that I am resurrecting. I will explain these changes coming weeks and months.
"Intestinal Fortitude" is a phrase I despise because my ex-husband would use it incessantly. But in this particular case it seems befitting. This is what is getting me through each hour. It is the strength I get when I reach deep down and call on that "something" that can make me ignore the stressors and focus on the joy. It is that gumption that can be found only when I ignore all everyone around me and focus on that still, small voice that says, "Trust Me. I know what We are doing and it will work because I have you in the palm of My hand."
So, for now, my dear ex-husband, wherever you may be, thank you for reminding me that I can live this life without you! I am looking forward to the next 25 years with exhuberation and gratitude that I have not felt since before I knew you.
With future anticipation,
Petra
